Chat Up Line (Bloke)

Response You Get (Women/Girls)

My tonsils hurt can you kiss them better?

Wot urr you goin on a baaaat?

You look sweet can I have a taste?

SLAP!!!

Alright there darling?

Go away I'm a lesbian!

Hi I've been watching you for a while now, would you like to chat in private?

So its You who's been watching me, HHHEEEEEELLLLPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!

Dam this weather can I use your skirt as an umbrella?

SLAP, PUNCH with a KICK added in as well!

Ah your clothes are wet why don't you take them off?

OK I thought you'd never ask!

I'm a masseur (honest) would you like an all over freebee?

Yes please but mind my arms they might fall off again!

Wow you can do the splits! Do you need any help opening your legs?

Drop kick to the head!

That’s a nice dress, It will look great by the side of my bed in the morning.

Thank you, Now BEEP off.

I got the sack today! I'm a lonely washed up bloke with nowhere to go!

Ahh come here and give me a hug. Oh you're so cute my poor little man.

Yeah I've got this well nice high-powered monster of a car.

Yeah and?

Hello they smell nice can I have one of your chips?

No get your own you fat BEEPING BEEPSTARD!!!

Do you like Star Trek? (Andrew Campbell's chat up line)

Aaaaaaaarrrrrrrggggghhhhhhhhh run it’s a Trekky!!!

Nice legs what time do they open?

Get away from me, And stop using ancient chat up lines! I pity you!

Can I buy you a drink? 

No thanks my girlfriend wouldn't approve. 

 I'm a Vampire can I suck your neck?

No but you can drink my blood I do it quite a lot. I know ya wonna, Its red!

Hi I noticed you were looking at me across the room…

Yeah I was wondering why a gay bloke was in here alone. 

Come and sit on my lap little girl. 

Go away silly Santa Claus or I'll tell my mum on you!!! 

May I have this dance?

Wot here now, In Tesco.

Excuse me but are you a model?

Yes!

So what are you looking for in a man?

Well um the exact opposite of you except I like your toenails.

Nice RSPCA uniform, Can I stroke your pussy?

No it's got rabies!

You know you have lovely hair!

Yes thank you, Do you want to try it on?

Alright darling d'wonna take ya top off, Yeah and I'll have a Bigmac with that too, Cheers darling!

Do you want fries with that sir?

Roses are red violets are blue something something good looking you are good looking too. Oh Dam It Failed!

Yeah you need something something help!

D'you know you have lovely eyes?

Thank you, I got them from my pet dolphin!

 I eat toilet rolls. Do you?

Um, NO PSYCHO!!!!!!

So what seems to be your pleasure?

That bloke over there actually.